3. Some Lessons Learned
During the course of practice, I also noticed and observed the following insights:
(1) Headaches or chest tightness
This occasionally happened in the early stages of my practice with this method. The cause may have been unfamiliarity. Sometimes it was due to not yet fluidly applying the technique. For instance, forcing myself to continue solving the mental problem even after the silence had already arrived. Or trying to visualize the white dot even after having already entered samādhi. That’s a mistake—because once samādhi has been reached, one should let go completely and not continue observing or analyzing anything further. Sometimes, the tension or pain was due to practicing for too long, or when the body and mind were particularly unsettled, requiring a great deal of effort to reach samādhi. Over time, through consistent practice, personal experience, insight, and adjustment, I was able to resolve the issue of headaches or chest tightness.
(2) Confusion too quickly without doing any math
If, before the session, I used a string of numbers that was too long, by the time I lay down to practice, I would have forgotten most of it. I might remember the first number but then get stuck on the next. At that point, it would be incorrect to assume that WM had already collapsed. One needs to distinguish between confusion and load. If confusion arises too quickly while the cognitive load hasn't yet reached a sufficient level, then the resulting state of concentration will not be deep. In such cases, I generate new numbers from the initial one to gradually increase the load. Once there’s enough complexity and confusion, WM will eventually freeze. That’s when the true ‘freeze’ happens.
(3) No rushing when samādhi does not come
Sometimes, for various reasons (e.g., the exercise feels too easy, or the method has become overly familiar or dull), the cognitive overload doesn’t arrive as it usually does. In such cases, I don’t rush. On the one hand, I might switch to a new mental task or change the method. On the other hand, I calmly remind myself: whether samādhi arises or not is impermanent. Doing these two things—adapting the task and releasing expectations—eventually brings me back into samādhi. At present, I also find that using Latin numerals helps avoid the problem of desensitization (caused by the Adaptation effect) more effectively than using letters or Roman numerals. Perhaps it's because Latin numbers are abstract and monotonous, lacking in sound or meaning. Moreover, the overlapping of different colored strokes when drawing them creates an almost infinite variety of combinations—making them difficult to remember, which adds to the overload.
(4) Different modes of attention
The difference between overt and covert attention is very clear. No matter how many numbers or letters one is ‘seeing’ or holding in mind, at any given moment, only one spot receives overt attention—the rest remains under covert attention. For example, when I begin drawing LXII, I may have the whole number stored in working memory (covertly), but the focus of drawing (overt attention) is on a single stroke: the vertical stroke of L. When I move on to the horizontal base of L, the previous vertical stroke then receives only covert attention. Trying to direct attention overtly to both strokes at the same time would create fatigue and significantly increase the load on WM.
(5) A subtle pull of joy/bliss before entering samādhi
The more I pay attention, the more I notice that—just before entering samādhi—there’s a gental pull of bliss that gently draws me in. I’m not quite sure what to call it; perhaps it’s the Initial Impulse stage in the rapid sequence of mental moments (the Javana process in Abhidhamma)? I'm still unsure.
(End of Part 3/11)